Bush in Europe – Part 2

President Bush stunned reporters during the final leg of his European sojourn this past week when he bucked conventional expectations, proclaiming Vladimir Putin’s Russia, “the most robust, most American, democracy to emerge in Europe since 1933.” Bush gave a sarcastic nod and winked to German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder standing in the wings with Jacque Chirac and Tony Blair, “other’s should take note and learn a few lessons from Vladmeeeeer… I like to call him Puty-Poo… you don’t mind if I call you Puty-Poo?” Putin sighed as an anguished grimace spread across his face like viscous goo.

At a 10 minute press conference in Bratislava Bush spent the opening 9 minutes 20 seconds praising the Russian President’s commitment to a transparent government. “I live in a transparent country," Bush said, "decisions made by government are wide open… but, heck, even I could learn a few things from Pooty… look at the way he handled Yukos.”

“Don’t forget Yushchenko,” Putin muttered.

“He doesn’t count… he’s still alive and he’s president. But you get an A for effort.”

The two leaders chuckled contentedly.

“On that note, maybe someone would like to ask a question or two,” Bush continued, checking his watch and glancing with a sly grin towards Helen Thomas, gagged and bound to her chair in the front row by straps made of the finest Texan leather, as she writhed and moaned.

“Anyone else,” Bush yawned as a swarm of rabid vampire bats flew out from behind the podium and descended upon the petrified, shrieking journalists; sinking razor sharp fangs into the soft flesh behind their ears.

“No?”